The Phone Company

I've had a heck of a time recently dealing with a telecommunications company. We used to call it simply "the phone company;" indeed it was at one time the only phone company. Now it's one of several huge mega corporations offering, among other things, telephone, cell phone, internet and cable television service.

Due to my extreme displeasure with the way I've been treated, and my penchant for overreacting to these breaches of what I would consider good customer service, it wouldn't be proper of me to mention the name of the company, but it begins with the letter "V" and rhymes with horizon.

It also wouldn't be proper of me to mention all the misdealings I've had with their "customer service" (and it's necessary for me to place those two words in quotes), because it would just take up too much of your time. Suffice it to say that the sum total of my discussions with the "V" company has taught me

1. that if you don’t like the answer, call back and ask someone else. You’re sure to get a different answer. Keep calling back until you get the answer you want. Then disregard all answers completely.


2. to check my bill carefully, and check my credit report periodically. Sometimes "computer errors" occur that are totally, 100% beyond the responsibility of any person at the "V" company who has, at any point in his or her "V" company career, every used a telephone.

"We’re sorry for the inconvenience," is their standard retort when told that something has gone horribly wrong. "There was a computer problem that day. I can see you were overcharged $19,652.30 for that text message. We’ll take it off your next bill." Meanwhile, it will take me 6 months, a top legal firm and a negotiating team headed up by Dick Cheney to get the credit reporting bureaus to remove that black mark.

So what’s the answer? Dixie cups and thread comes to mind, but why should I have to put up with a connection that’s probably even worse than what "V" provides me now? Change carriers? I hear the others are just as bad.

One more thing. After I bought a new cell phone from those "V" people, I received an email from them offering to provide me with a training session. Hey, that could be a step in the right direction for the "Vs". Then I noticed they had spelled the name of their own company incorrectly. Not once either. Twice. Must have been a computer problem that day.